Is Happiness is a Choice?

Someone at work asked this question in a blog a few weeks ago and it surprises me how many people seem to think that you cannot say it’s a choice or you can’t tell that it is. Really?  As someone who suffers from bi-polar depression I do not choose to suffer from depression. That is something that sneaks up on me with sometimes very little provocation.  However, I am aware of it, I know the signs and symptoms, I know that when I’m approaching that depression threshold, I know when it has a grip on me and I know when it is affecting my happiness.

I choose happiness!!   It is a choice for me.  I do everything in my power to be happy.  To be happy in your life you need to be aware of what makes you happy and what your triggers are for otherwise and to avoid those triggers or stressors.  I have affirmations everywhere.  I remind myself all the time, when something happens that it’s not me, it’s the situation. Yes, I talk to myself.

I know I cannot be around negative or confrontational situations. I walk away from arguments.  I will stand up for my beliefs, but I will not engage in confrontation with toxic people. It only stresses me out and makes me unhappy.

I do not watch the news on a regular basis. I hear just enough to keep abreast and aware of the world around me but there is enough negativity out there to influence my emotions.

When you are a sensitive person or an empath, you absorb other’s feelings, you absorb their moods and can feel what’s troubling them even if they say nothing. I admit I have a small social circle because of this.  I think most people like me are loners.  We’ve come to accept that fact, but have learned that while we would like to have more friends, we have also learned to be happy with our lives and how we live. I also know life normally has it’s ups and downs, we just have to go with the flow.  Eventually, it comes full circle. Eventually, that happiness that was temporarily elusive is back.  And I love karma, it’s a bitch,  I prefer to watch on the sidelines where that is concerned. I don’t get involved. I don’t need to stress if someone does me wrong or hurts me, because you see, even though it may temporarily sting,  and that’s the key word – temporary- it’s not me that it winds up hurting in the long run.  They pay for their meanness and narcissistic behaviors in the end.  I won’t let them ruin my happiness.  It’s my choice, not theirs.

There is a difference between being alone and lonely.  You must learn to love yourself alone before you can love anyone else and be happy.  You do choose this.  You choose to be happy alone.   You can be lonely alone, but if you think of some of the alternatives, like being lonely in a crowd of people or being lonely with someone who is supposed to love you, I wonder if I have made the right choices.  Did I choose that situation?  I probably did and I can change that situation. Again, I choose to change the situation and choose to be happy.

No one ever has to stay or live in an unhappy circumstance if they truly want to change it. They do have a choice to change. It does take commitment, it does take determination, and it does take a few tears to get through at times.  But you do make that choice.  It is yours to make.

Personally, my choice is happiness, bipolar or not. I won’t let it control me even in my darkest times.  I know that brass ring  at the end of the tunnel is my happiness and I’m going for it.


Feature Photo: Merry Go Round at the Base of the Eiffel Tower, Paris, France.  Photography by Candace Stauber, April 2016

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